The Links
The new golf course was pretty nice, but on the ninth hole, there was a nasty dog leg. We all looked at each other, and took a long puff from a our cigars as if to say, “Whoa, what’s up with the dog leg?”. Then Ron just picked it up and threw it in the woods with the rest of the dog.
Leviathan
I think blue whales are beautiful and magnificent animals, but God help them if they think they’re getting their slimy fins on my krill.
The Family Basement
For some reason when I was a kid, my family’s basement reminded me of a scary dungeon. Maybe it was because it was really dark down there, and there were all those skeletons.
The SSandwich; or, A Friendly Gesture
I think it would be weird if Hitler did something nice for you one time, like bringing you a sandwich or something. Because then anytime everyone was ganging up on him and talking about how terrible he was, you’d want to join in. But the sandwich thing, that was really thoughtful.
Honest Mistake
Sometimes I hope earth is invaded by robots from another planet, because I always imagine robots would be fun to kill. You’re having a great old time just stabbing away at their robot torsos, and you’re feeling really heroic and then...Blood? Robots don’t bleed! Who is this?!
Dead Ringer
Tina got angry at me when I made a joke in the middle of the funeral. But, with her father’s mustache, I’m pretty sure everyone else got my “Weekend at Bernie’s” impression.
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