The voice of a generation; that guy with the calves; hey you, in the bushes.
These are just a few of the terms used of recent to describe controversial crooner Scott Crisp, whose latest album, “That’s What Your Mom Said Last Night” has now gone quadruple-quadrople platinum, a level of success previously matched only by 2Pac Shakur. Many music insiders wondered aloud whether Crisp would be able to match the gritty imagery of his last album, “You Have A Stupid Haircut,” on his latest offering, his first on a major label. With “Tomatoes Are Gross (Don’t Put Them on My Burger),” the first single off of “’Your Mom” they had their answer--and it couldn’t have been more resonant.
Crisp followed that up with the release of the single, “I Shit in Your Chili” a raw depiction of life in a decaying American suburb. These two singles have spent the last six months trading places at the top of the billboard charts, leaving every other recording artist to wonder, “Whoa, how’d this Crisp fellow get so awesome?”
Pretentious Record Store Employee Magazine recently had an opportunity to sit down with Crisp at his Burbank studio, and talk about his career, his budding relationship with Jennifer Aniston—which Ms. Aniston denies vehemently—and the true meaning of some of his more disputed works.
PRSEM: Thank you for sitting down with me today, Mr. Crisp. Or can I call you Scott?
SC: Mr. Crisp’ll be just fine.
PRSEM: Hey, fair enough. Let’s start with an easy one. Some music critics have argued that your song, “I Shit in Your Chili” is about nothing more than a man defecating in another man’s chili. Of course, these critics are only a small minority, but for clarity’s sake, would you talk a little about how that song came to be?
SC: That song is about my childhood. There was a lot going on with pro wrestling in its heyday, and they hadn’t canceled Wonder Years yet, so I was just busy all the time, you know, with the television.
PRSEM: Of course, it’s an indictment of the over-regimentation of children’s lives, as well as the deleterious effects of watching too much television—both practices that are prevalent in suburban America.
SC: No, no. My brother took the remote once and wouldn’t let me watch Wonder Years, so I shit in his chili-- the song just came naturally after that.
PRSEM: Oh…Okay. Well, let’s change gears. Your song “Ode to Robocop” concludes with a long scatting solo. Was this your homage to the Jazz pioneers of the early 20th century?
SC: Oh, what happened was that when I got done talking about Robocop, they told me I needed some more words. When I couldn’t think of any words, I just started making noises with my mouth. So, that’s what that was. Hey, what’s scatting?
PRSEM: Never mind. Is it true that you’re dating Jennifer Aniston?
SC: [Inaudible noise]
PRSEM: What?
SC: Haha! You’re a loser! I said losers say what, and you said "what!" Haha!
PRSEM: Wha—Oh, yes, very impressive, Mr. Crisp.
SC: Why do you keep calling me “Mr. Crisp”? That’s weird, man.
PRSEM: But you told me… Never mind.
SC [pointing out the window]: Holy shit, look at the size of that dog!
[At this point in the interview, Crisp sprints wildly outside and begins playing with a Great Dane.]
PRSEM [15 minutes later]: Welcome back. Now, you have been criticized widely for the song “If Your Girlfriend Leaves You (Cut Yourself).” Many parents have gone so far as to blame you for their kids’ cutting themselves, in many cases, after their girlfriends have left them, as they’re listening to your song.
SC [out of breath]: Man, that dog was something. Did you see him?
PRSEM: Yes, very good. Let me just read you some lyrics from the song in question: “She’s gone and she is never coming back / Your heart is in your balls and she kicked you in the sac / You miss her smile, her laugh and her hair / It’s time to pick up that knife kid, and show her you care.” How do you respond to this?
SC: Wait but, no, that’s a metaphor.
PRSEM: A metaphor for what?
SC [pointing]: Hey, look over there!
[I turn to see what Crisp was pointing at. When I turn back around, the studio door is swinging shut.]
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